In life we get told a lot of things.
What we should and shouldn't be aiming for is a common one.
As a previously overweight girl, I learned first-hand people had no problem telling me the "ideal" weight I should be aiming for. People had no trouble letting me know how pretty I "could" be...if I lost a certain amount of weight.
This happened a lot and a lot of the time I found the people saying these things really didn’t understand what they were saying or how hurtful it was.
They thought they were helping.
The problem is to lose weight or make a lifestyle change of any kind it needs to come from you. It needs to be YOUR goal.
There is nothing in this life I can think of that would be more unfulfilling than to achieve a goal you never wanted in the first place.
Think about it...you work your butt off and achieve it. The big goal that has been taking up your thoughts every waking hour. The big one you told everyone you were going to do.
You did it!!!
Not sure really!!
Why not? Why aren’t you jumping for joy…shouting from the roof tops?
It wasn't your goal.
Now you look back a wonder why you spent all that time chasing someone else’s dream. Working to fit someone else's image of you.
Unfulfillment creeps in and the question pops up – what do you do now?
Best case - you start to think about what you really want and chase that goal. But far too often the worst case happens – you chase the next goal placed in front of you, and the cycle continues.
We all want to be the best we can be.
What that is, is up to you.
I will use myself as an example here. I believe I wasted a lot of energy years ago, when I first decided to make a healthy lifestyle change. I wasted a lot of energy thinking I had to look a certain way. Thinking I had to be as lean as possible. This thinking continued when I decided to become a trainer.
I felt like it was the only way I would succeed. The only way my gym would succeed. I had to look like a woman who could step stage tomorrow if I wanted.
Did I have any true desire to look that way? Nope.
Now there is nothing wrong with looking at way, I just personally never desired that look. I love my curves and never really wanted to lose them.
So I was putting all my energy and beating myself up for not achieving a goal I never wanted in the first place.
I blamed myself that my business wasn’t doing better, because I wasn’t so lean I could be on the cover of a bodybuilding magazine.
Sounds crazy now but that is what striving to achieve other people’s goals does to your mindset.
Say I achieved this goal I never wanted. Then what?
Gold would rain down from the sky?
All my problems would be solved?
If only it was that simple!
But unfortunately no. I would have new problems – like living a life I was unhappy with, like mentally struggling with being unfulfilled...setting the wrong example for my clients by putting others ahead of myself.
No this was not going to cut it.
There's plenty of people I know that would be unhappy if they strived for my goals.
There are people who want to be runners, football players, better mums, the list goes on.
Goals are the most personal thoughts we have.
That’s why I love them.
Never feel like your goal isn’t good enough.
Never feel like once you’ve set your goal that’s it, its set in stone. Time goes by we change as people, so it makes sense our goals change with us.
What I wanted when I first started had nothing to do with owning my own business, running my own gym or helping other women like me! I just wanted to be happy within myself.
Appreciate and support others in their pursuits but never chase a unicorn – it doesn’t exist!
Finally before I go - are you on Instagram? I am! Add me @court_ley and I'll follow you back! :)